the long and winding road

had a scary dream about mom last night. i'm sure it's because i sat next to her at dinner and her altzheimer's is getting worse. she does repeat herself a lot and she gets belligerent over the silliest things. my sister was at the end of the table but sort of at another booth in the restaurant and my mother insisted she get a chair even though gail was perfectly happy...well, we got her a chair to make mom happy. that's the road we're traveling as a family now. whatever it is, if it makes her happy--just do that. my heart aches for my dad. he's with her all the time and so a night out with everyone is as much for him as anyone else. you should see him with her, though. he's so tender and sweet--i never saw him that way when we were little. he's perfect. i know daughters feel that way about their daddies but i'm speaking as objectively as i can...if you met him, you'd agree. by the end of dinner i had decided that it would be someone else's turn to sit next to mom next time we were all together....and then, after my dream woke me up, i decided i would endeavor to sit next to her every time we were together. if all i have to do is listen to someone repeat herself a dozen times and get a little cranky, i guess that's not too hard to bear. what kind of a selfish daughter am i, anyway? i know, of course, that there will be more to do and harder things to see as my family travels down this road but, for now, we are stopping to smell the roses along the way and love each other as best we can.

phew!

what a mess i just went through to find myself! ok--i'm just talking about my blog...not my soul or anything deep. speaking of souls, i just found a sweet pair of glasses to buy but etched into the side were the words "no soul to sell." this is a name of a company??? what's up with that? i can't buy those glasses! they lost my business due to their name. people are just not even thinking anymore...and don't get me started on that! if anybody takes the time to THINK about the proposed health care plan, surely he will see the trouble with it...heck, i'd be satisfied to hear that anybody had even READ the thing! if you want to be freaked out, read "that hideous strength" by c.s. lewis and compare it to the united states today. then read "the abolition of man" by him and watch your head explode. george orwell was clearly a prophet but c.s. lewis was, too! maybe they just knew the heart of man and knew how to read the writing on the wall. there is, after all, nothing new under the sun.